Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they are going to catch you in next.

"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity." --Gen. George Patton

Did you hear about the man who put a silencer on his shotgun because his daughter wanted a quiet wedding?

We all should be grateful. If it weren't for the government, there would be a lot of things we would have to blame on ourselves.

When a golfer makes a mountain out of a molehill, his ball is probably lying behind it.

The most common cause of car sickness is the sticker price.

"Did you have any trouble with your Italian while you were in Rome?" "No, but the Italians there did."

Teaching kindergarten has been compared to trying to keep 30 corks under water at the same time!

Modern technology has brought us to the point where it now takes about ten times more gear for a cookout than the early settlers needed to conquer the wilderness.

The following is the attempt made by a newspaper to correct an error that got by the profreaders: "We apologize for the embarrassment caused by referring to Jonathan Foley as chief vile clerk at City Hall. He is of, course, chief file clerk at City Hell."

Son: "Dad, did Edison make the first talking machine?"
Dad: "No, son, God made the first one, but Edison made the first one that could be shut off."

On behalf of us at Delight in Living, enjoy your day!